The Pretend Lighthouse Keeper lives alone in his pretend lighthouse. He claims the local authorities (or "forities" as one of the locals says!) won't let him have a bulb - it's a distraction to passing ships! Even a bedside lamp with a 20W bulb was allegedly confiscated!

His daily pretend patrols of the local pretend coastline oft' turn up great and bizarre finds. Some useful, most not but all inspiring... at least if the highlights of your day are imagination! Add to this, dreams of a pretend futuristic 1950s style kitchen and pretend sea views, and you're in his often doodled world... which, as far as possible uses recycled materials - mostly RNLI tea boxes! Nowt is wasted... even the worst pretend gags/jokes!

Other than living largely on RNLI tea and crumpets, what is real and what is pretend? ...and ultimately...does it matter?

Bob Sea-Dog - Creator and Pretend Lighthouse Keeper

A Few Words About Me...

(Berk. Pillock. Random. Nonsensical.)

I hope they're accurate! If not, I've failed!

It all started with me doing impressions at about the age of 4, which consisted of:

Gary Numan - a bit of make-up and a shiny jacket, saying 'Eyup!' then exiting!

Mr. Turner (just a local bloke!) - as per Gary Numan but with a fake "tash" and a real jumper!

Jeff Lynne - Sellotape beard, upright hoover as a mic stand and miming to the records - probably my best and most realistic impression to date!

I did teacher impressions at school and wrote my first radio script encouraged by one brilliant teacher. It was this that first made me want to perform. Inspired by my heroes: Harold Lloyd, Spike, Python & Vic & Bob.

My family encouraged me to attend a Performing Arts course at the local college, where I met my legend of a Tutor, who remains my mentor still! I also met legendary performers; some are still friends and I have had the privilege to work with since.

I have never worked professionally, and mostly use performance for family, with long breakd from any kind of public performance. This is my first public project for 8 years.

Andy Ashley - Pretend Windmill Keeper

I spent 20 years playing in a Pink Floyd tribute band called Floydian Slip and several years in local theatre, and Bob's wappy plays.

I am also a trained Bird Ringer which I have done for 45 years. I have been involved with several bird studies and projects.

P.S. I am also a so-called Sherlock Holmes buff.

Jayni Lee - Pretend Sea Captain

Graduating from the Arden School of Theatre, Manchester, 21 years ago, with a penchant for gaffa moustaches, ridiculous voices and making things up as I go along. I spent 14 years mainly working in Theatre in Education, where these skills were perfected to a mediocre level. It is also during this time that my brew supping skills flourished, once recording 24 mugs of tea in a 7 hour rehearsal period. You may applaud

When not being rate daft on stage, I like to potter in the garden, go for walks, take photos of flowers and vegetables, and be by the sea.

Ian Dearman - Associate Artist and Filmmaker

Ian is a Nottinghamshire based filmmaker who created the award winning production company Scruffy Whippet almost two decades ago. Ian graduated from University with a Masters in Fine Art so working on this production has enabled him to reconnect with his art skills by creating the film content as well as bringing Bob Sea-Dog's mini set to life on stage.

Chris Lewis-Jones - Accordion Player

Artist-Flaneur Chris Lewis-Jones is based at Primary in Nottingham and specialises in performative drawing, but he also works as a musician, an actor, a lecturer, a celebrant, and a spoken word and live art performer. He plays accordion in a variety of bands and contexts, ranging from opera to folk to Latin American and Middle Eastern. He has performed with Street Accord at WOMAD, Glastonbury and Queen Elizabeth Hall; with Encontro at Manchester Apollo; and with Wholesome Fish at Donnington Rock Festival. He lives in Belper in Derbyshire, where he directs Belper Boom! bateria and co-directs Fleet Folkloric Forum.

Daisy Dearman - Beach Comber and Mr Blue Sky

Daisy loves live productions and has been performing on the stage since a young age. Daisy also loves anything silly and has throughly enjoying being a part of the pretend lighthouse.

Devising support and additional material by:

Jayni Lee, Andy Ashley, Ian Marron, Thalamus Plank and the "Sea-Dog" Family

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